And now for something moderately different.

I went to the Law Careers Fair at Flinders Uni yesterday. It was a barrel of laughs, and I'm wallowing in free stationary and chocolates, welcome bribes from prospective employers.

But now I need your help. Clerkship applications are due in April, which means I'll be spending a fair chunk of my free time over the next few weeks getting - as we in the legal business say - my shit together. In law, if you don't get a clerkship before you finish your degree, you don't get a cushy job. And I have my heart set on a cushy job.

Most firms that take on clerks seem to follow this selection process:

1: Send us your CV and an academic transcript.
2: If your transcript is good enough, we'll look over your CV.
3: If your CV is good enough, we'll interview you.
4: If you were fantastic at the interview, we'll give you a clerkship.

Thusly they whittle hundreds of applicants down to two or three clerks. Now, there's nothing inherently ridiculous about this process, except that I tend to get excluded at around (1). This despite the fact that I could potentially come across as a resonable prospect in steps (2) and (3).

So it was with interest that I read the application form for commercial law firm Kain C+C. They specifically don't want candidates to send in transcripts or CVs. Instead they've developed a questionnaire which will determine whether applicants are 'culturally aligned' to the firm's values.

If they like what they see on my application, they'll invite me to a BBQ lunch, and if I do well there (presumably performance is measured by the number of sausages eaten, or correct application of sauce) they'll invite me to a more formal interview.

Is this a sensible way of screening applicants? I don't think I could say it's any less valid than the standard approach. The questionnaire is certainly more fun than typing up another boring cover letter.

So, in light of the above, I want your help. What follows are the questions on this application form, and my tentative responses. Note that for each question, there is only space for a very small answer.


What is your most important non professional goal for the next five years?
I aim to be able to speak Japanese fluently and be able to read a Japanese newspaper.


Who would be the five people (alive or dead) you'd invite to dinner? Why?
Isaac Asimov - by all accounts a great party guest as well as a fiercely intelligent person
Ben Folds - for his passion and for some fantastic after dinner music
Natalie Portman - the world's most beautiful law student
[I need two more! Possible options and suggestions from the guys at work include Charles Darwin (I think this has potential), Bill Clinton (maybe), Al Gore (I think he'd be a bit boring), Karl Marx (too commie), Jesus (too fictitious) Nelson Mandella (too obvious, too "I'm trying to make myself look like a decent human being") Ghandi (see Mandella), Hitler (I vetoed him). I think I need a political figure to seem knowledgeable about that sort of thing, but no one too partisan or contentious. I also think it would be good to have another woman, one who isn't there simply because she's purrdy.]Phew!


What is your favourite book? Why?
The Chronicles of Thomas Covenant the Unbeliever - Stephen Donaldson
Follows a deeply flawed individual as he saves the world. Anti-heroes are always much more interesting.
[Problem! Hardly anyone besides myself has ever read this book. They won't have a clue what I'm talking about.]


What is your favourite movie? Why?
Fight Club. A cracker of a movie about the gap between the lifestyle that we as individuals are promised by our society, and the reality of our lives. Shows the frustration that this gulf can cause.
[A bit of a risk, but if this firm is as hip as they claim, at least someone there will have seen the movie and recognise its brilliance]


What is your greatest passion? Why?
I'm fascinated by the history and culture of Japan. Contemporary Japanese culture is a clash between centuries-old tradition and new ways of thinking, and this tension intrigues me. I enjoy learning about how events in Japan's past have shaped its approach to current events.


What has been your greatest achievement?
Co-wrote, directed and performed in a show for the 2004 Adelaide Fringe Festival, entitled 'Mime - The Musical!'. Steep learning curve - had to book a venue, juggle finances, draft press releases, and deal with the media.


If you hadn't chosen law, what other career whould you have pursued? Why?
Either journalism or odd jobs while trying to make it as a fiction writer. I love using and crafting language to achieve a goal - whether that goal is to inform, pursuade or entertain.


Okay! So now it's over to you. I want to know two things: firstly, what do you think of my answers? Do you think they're geared to impress a potential employer? Do you have any suggestions as to what would make my answers 'better'? Secondly, how would you respond to these questions? I ask this second question because you're all interesting people, and I think they're interesting questions. You might say I'm interested.