Before I try to say anything entertaining, I hope you'll permit me a small information tangent. This blog has been brought into existence by me, Andrew, to service the needs of the friends I email and who email me. I'm sick of trying to remember email addresses when I'm at work, and too lazy to organise some sort of crazy address book action, so I'm hoping this will make it easier for all concerned to share their thoughts. Those thoughts might be a profound exploration of the mysteries of life, or a link to the latest YouTube video showing semi-naked japanese women riding mechanical bulls and throwing pies at each other.
Anyway, I thought I'd actually write about something useful in this debut post, so I'm going to let you know about the wonderful world of opposites. Over Christmas I went up to Byron Bay to see my family. One night I was drinking with my brother and our cousins. The conversation turned to red wine stains. I offered helpfully (at least I thought so) that the best thing to do to get a red wine stain out is to soak it in white wine. The white wine dissolves the red wine and all of the wine can then be washed away.
As logical as this seems, my brother was not convinced. He responded swifltly and with alarming stupidity: 'That's ridiculous. That's like saying that if you spill tomato sauce on your clothes you should soak it in barbeque sauce to get rid of the stain. Tomato sauce and barbeque sauce are opposites, right, so according to you that should work.'
Now, while my brother's response missed the point in every important respect, we were all intrigued about his confident assumption that tomato sauce and barbeque sauce are 'opposites'. We wondered what other items might have a yang to their yin, a Captain Pollution to their Captain Planet. We thus set out to compile a list of opposites. Unfortunately we were drunk, so I can only recall a few for your reading pleasure.
Opposites:
Tomato Sauce - Barbeque Sauce
Black Bean Sauce - Whipped Cream
Peri Peri Sauce - Saliva
Tabasco Sauce - Apple and Guava Juice
Port - Passion Pop
Jatz Biscuits - Fairy Floss
Chicken - a Red Brick
Baileys Irish Cream - Islam
That's all I can think of for the moment. If you believe there are any obvious 'opposites' I've neglected, let me know by leaving a comment. It's one of those things you can do on blogs.
