Tuesday, March 20, 2007

More's Law

Sorry to continue on a legal theme, but as a follow up to my last post, I thought I'd share the following. It's Gadens Lawyers' description of what will be on offer at their stall at the Sydney Law Careers Fair (tip of the hat to Crikey):

Who from your firm will be attending?
A representative selection of some of our finest and most earnest young solicitors may attend, subject to their daily billing targets. If the stall is unattended, it’s because we’re all doing something more important.

Will they be making any presentations or giving talks?
Unlikely. They’re quite shy and very focused on their chargeable hours. We will be raffling off an interview every hour as usual, but this should be no cause for amusement or conversation.

What items/information will you have for graduates to take away?
We will be giving away a manila folder containing a sample time sheet, a list of after-hours dinner delivery services in the CBD, a guide to achieving optimum personal billing statistics during your summer clerkship and a bus ticket.

What are the three most important qualities you are looking for in a graduate employee?
A law degree; willingness to work until it hurts, then keep working; and the personality and personal values of a federal cabinet minister.

How many positions will you have available for graduates this year?
We prefer to hire in bulk to account for natural attrition and burnout. This year we are taking 150 graduates in the hope of there being six or seven of them left standing by February 2008. This is more than previously because we’ve been losing them faster than anticipated. Young people today just seem to be soft.


In addition, I think I've settled on my five famous people to invite to dinner (see previous post):

Isaac Asimov
Sir Thomas More
Natalie Portman
Ben Folds
Marie Curie

Interesting facts about the two new arrivals: Marie Curie essentially 'open sourced' the refinement process to turn pitchblende into radium (ie she refused to patent it so that science as a whole could use and build on the technique). She's also the only person to have won two Nobel prizes in different fields.

Thomas More wrote Utopia and burnt protestants at the stake. He's my kind of people.

7 comments:

trent said...

At least they're honest about what the reality will be like ;) It's what every firm should write. Instead of sugar-coating it with false crap like 'opportunities for career-advancement' and fake hierarchies and shite.

Andrew said...

I'm going to enjoy being a lwayer.

Julian said...

Andy - Im and I were reading through the other post before, and Im reckons perhaps putting Fight Club as your favourite movie may come off in the wrong sort of way, given that it's a thoroughly anti-capitalistic kinda film.

Just a thought. :o)

Julian said...

Double-posting be damned:

- Finished Zelda last night... 'twas much fun. Did you want me to bring it over to Adelaide with me at the end of this month?

- And leave those poor protestants alone, evil man!!

Andrew said...

If you bring Zelda I promise to try my hardest not to burn you. If you want, I'll even do you a swap for Red Steel (temporarily, of course. I wouldn't inflict it on you forever).

Julian said...

Actually, would I maybe be able to borrow Deus Ex too? Been wanting to replay that and actually make it through to the end. :oP

Hungry George said...

I've got Deus Ex, and I'll lend it to you for another Kleiner Feigling...